It's a tad frustrating that the Saturday I have to go into work is a beautiful day, but I'm grateful for both the gorgeous weather and my job. On a beautiful morning like this, I my mind usually gets stopped up with different ideas of what to do desperately bottle necking. I'm doing a better job of organizing my tasks and projects, so it's less overwhelming than it used to be, but it would be really nice to have all of my weekends back. Having every other weekend free gets difficult in the summer when there's always something going on and friends/family are constantly having celebrations.
Am I complaining about a full social calendar?
I should probably chill.
I'm really happy to have a job with a flexible enough schedule that if I have NOTHING going on, I can pick up extra shifts and make some overtime money. It's just emotionally exhausting to work overtime at that place.
Anyway, as long as I am sure to live in the moment and breathe in this wonderful summer morning before going off to work, I can feel partially accomplished in that I completed my bare minimum maintenance and self-care. Taking each day slowly and thoroughly is an important ingredient in the recipe for a content existence - in my humble opinion. That could also be my completionist impulses and attitude, but that is neither here nor there.
As you could probably tell, this is another blog post wherein I am writing just to write something today. As daily writing needs to be a point of my bare minimum maintenance, it serves my self-care. It's interesting to note that I began this blog because I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone, I felt trapped, useless, pointless, frustrated, and hopelessly depressed. Now, because of a fantastic support system starring my parents and a few choice fantastic friends, mental health treatment of medication and cognitive behavioral therapy, A LOT of prayer, and proverbially treading water (keeping myself afloat and refusing to sink), I am in an exponentially better situation.
I will forever need to rant my awkward emotions, but I am grateful that this blog is no longer the sole outlet for my feelings. Just reflecting on where I was geographically, professionally, and emotionally when I began this blog makes me shudder. It's as if I were once trapped in a deep cavern that was filling with water and I was in danger of either drowning or hypothermia - whichever got me first. The past feels as scary, said, dark, and cold as that (thankfully) nonexistent scenario. What can I do with that? Carry it with me and use it to inform future decisions and use it to inform compassionate responses to those suffering the same.
Everything we suffer can be used as a resource, as long as we absorb the lessons. That's how we can leave the pain behind - by making it work for us; making it worth it. What are your thoughts? What's the worst thing that has happened to you, and how can you be grateful for that experience?
Thanks for reading!
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